i really need to get this out. and i dont care if anyone reads this or not. i need to say it, or i will just crack.
i don’t know what to do anymore. this week has been horrible. all i’ve felt like doing is just sleeping and watching tv (if that). i can barely get myself to go on the computer to even talk on msn, much less do sim writing, or homework.
this feeling of emptiness is pressing so hard on my chest, i can hardly breathe. all i want to do is just lay in my bed, and curl up into a tiny ball. i don’t want to talk to anyone. don’t want to think about anything.
i had a fight with my best friend — maybe its made me realize how alone i truly am. i don’t know what to do. i just don’t know. i feel dead inside. gray would best to describe how i feel.
i guess im depressed. cause im sounding an awfully a lot like evelyn from my story. this is just plain retarded.
i look at the things i once loved, and find no inspiration or excitement in them. my laughs are forced, and i smile weakly. it’s sunny and warm outside, and i just want to draw the curtains.
i just don’t know what to do.
where to turn. im lost.
i hope this ends soon. if it doesn’t…i just don’t know.
4 responses so far ↓
Sam // May 3, 2007 at 8:24 pm
I know how you feel, I used to only feel it sometimes but now its very constant. I hope it goes away for you, eat a cookie, give someone a hug, maybe try and talk to your friend. The feeling should go away eventualy.
menotyoux2 // May 4, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Aw, Brianna! Don’t say you’re alone. You’ve got a giant simming community that admires, and loves you! Everyone fights with their best friend. Apologize, and talk with her. There’s a reason you’re best friends, one fight won’t destroy that.
This feeling will go away. If it stays, talk to someone. There must be a psychologist at your school, it’s their job to talk with people.
Erin // May 6, 2007 at 7:29 pm
It must be the time of year. Hahaha! I’ve been feeling that way too for the last couple of days. Finally, yesterday I decided that if what i wanted was a break, I’d take one. Even though school is almost out for me, I’m taking tomorrow and maybe Tuesday off from school! I’m so carefree and irresponsible right now I’m not even thinking about homework/school/life/how.I.look/people/etc. It feels good to let it go, even just for a long weekend or week. Good luck! I guess what i’m trying to say is instead of feeling that emotion, let the emotion be you for a little while. (Which sounds totally dumb and I’m going to shut up now.)
elvenlass // May 8, 2007 at 3:24 am
We’re here for you hun. Don’t let your self get lost in the darkness of the world, because its really hard to get back out. I know how it feels, I haven’t talked to my best friend in months and I don’t think she even cares because she makes no effort to call me but I have, but I know I shouldn’t assume things.
Honestly I think I’m going through the same thing as you. Sometimes I feel like have no purpose and when people ask me about my future I start to think “What if I don’t have a future, it doesn’t really matter anyways.” Blah . Don’t ever let yourself do what Evelyn does, otherwise I’d roll up into a ball and never wake up again and so many others will cry themselves to sleep because we would miss you sooooo much. Things I do to make me feel better is look at bloopers on youtube, or really funny pictures or parodys of your fave movies/tv shows. That usually makes me laugh, and also watching movies like Happy Feet ^_^
If you ever need to talk, I’m here and open to talk about whatever you need to talk about.